This is a humor article, right? A rational, intelligent human being would never suggest going back to the gold standard. The resulting economic calamity would dwarf all previous depressions.
Nixon might have had some ethical issues, but he was a very intelligent and capable chief executive. The economic problems you cite are the unintended consequences of the Reagan era's reduction of the topmost income tax rates combined with its financial deregulation.
Before the dramatic cut in upper tax rates, growing the real value of corporations was the best way for executives to build their own wealth because the government got too big a chunk of the quick hit. Deregulation has turned the stock market into subsidized gambling for the wealthy. The consequence of these changes has been the movement of wealth from the middle class to the ultra rich at a rate not seen since the Gilded Age of the 19th Century - and the destruction of U.S. manufacturing.
This has resulted in a vicious cycle where lax campaign finance laws promote the purchasing of politicians which, in turn, skews financial and tax regulations in favor of the ultra rich which, in turn, enables the purchasing of more politicians. If a politician wishes to remain in office, he has to focus on courting wealthy donors.
Fix that! Don't screw with a "gold standard".